“There is nothing in this world that can trouble you more than your own thoughts”
So many family, friends, as well as the icons of my life, have passed. So many.
Just heard that Little Richard passed at 87.
It seems like every day another one bites the dust.
It’s beginning to get to me. Gnaws at me. More and more.
Facing my own mortality is part of it. But by no means the whole picture.
No.
Through introspection, I realize the demon is a feeling of emptiness. Like some integral building block of my world is gone. For good. And so….I am measurably less.
Like….what’s the point? I look around and see less and less of the anchors of my time on the planet. A permanent void.
Crazy. No?
“There is no lonelier man in death, except the suicide, than that man who has lived many years with a good wife and then outlived her. If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it.” – Ernest Hemmingway
Texas Heat 
I often wish I had discussed aging and mortality with my parents. Aging and death are inevitable, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I truly miss not being able to do the things I could do not so long ago. Perhaps God will smile on me and let me pass in my sleep. That would be a gift.
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Sounds like you have A few of the same thoughts that I have with the aging process. Are you still gate guarding? Are you still selling drones?
And where are you now?
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Ih my Bob… this post is deep & dark. I kinda know what you are feeling, this current pandemic thing isn’t helping anyone. But you have a lot to celebrate. You share your life with your wife and your daughter. You have a place to live and you are on the right side of the dirt. Lots to be grateful for my friend. Life is still good… even though time is marching on. 😊
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Words of wisdom Vicki. I know it was dark. But, that is the way I feel sometimes. So many important people in my life are gone and they can’t be replaced.
The loss is permanent. They can’t be replaced. I’m not suicidal but Iam deeply saddened. Your toughttfull words did lift my spirits. Thank you.
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Perhaps the point is that you have probably become the anchor in someone else’s life.
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What a wonderful thought Vicky. Thank you for that.
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