“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemmingway

Several months ago I took a part-time job driving a shuttle for a local hospital in Tulsa.

I thought it would be a benign, brain dead affair. Driving people to and from their parked cars.  All on the hospital grounds.

Six parking garages with as many as 6 levels. A possible 4,800 parking slots. 6 different hospital buildings. At least 30 acres in all.

A big campus. The geography is such a good GPS is a must.

Well….soon it became obvious that, while mild in nature, it has its moments.

Such as:

Got a call to pick up a lady at the main entrance.

Good afternoon. Where do you want to go?

To my car but I’m not sure where I parked it.

Hmm. Well….was it a top level or below?

Top level for sure.

Car and color?

White Lexus.

Your visit purpose?

What do you mean?

Were you visiting someone or was this personal?

To visit my mom. She was admitted yesterday.

After you parked your car, how long was your walk to the hospital?

Not very long at all.

(These questions are designed to give me an idea of where to start looking)

After 30 minutes of futile search, it became obvious she didn’t have a clue.

I decided to begin a macro search. Looking everywhere.

Descending down to the lower levels she insisted she had parked it on the top level.

We’ve searched the top levels. It was not there. Therefore, it has either been stolen or is on one of the lower levels.

As I descended she exclaimed, what are you doing? It’s not down here.

Work with me.

30 minutes in we found the car. It was on the lowest level. And it was not white. It was silver.

But it was a Lexus.

This scenario happens every day. Several times a day.

And it is not gender-specific.

So I’ve learned how to tell someone they are dumber than a fence post without creating a scene.

“If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat. Just get on.” – Sheryl Sandberg