Foo Foo

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I
stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

Foo Foo. It’s a generic term for all things feminine such as fruit, nuts, anything pink, organic, yogurt, health food, anything devoid of taste, any food product with words like organic, natural or healthy on the label and so forth and so on.

All things not associated with testosterone. Male stuff. Man stuff. Red meat. Potatoes. Butter. Bread. Sugar. Stuff with fat. Artery cement. Stuff like that.

Foo Foo makes my skin crawl. Scares me. I think.

So this morning Gaby rather blithely informs me she made ice cream last night.

Immediately alarms go off. This is not gonna be good.

What kind of ice cream I ask. Not really wanting to know. Because I already know.


Oh God. Please help me. Don’t let her ask me to taste it. Please.

She made it with fat free milk, almond extract, a banana, some other stuff I barely recognize. She says. I want you to taste it and give me your opinion.


This is not going to end well for me.

If I do the sensible thing and tell her it is good………………she’ll keep making it and expecting me to eat it. Forget Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla. And thus would begin the emasculation of Bob.

Come on Bob. Don’t be such a sissy. Just one taste and then tell me what you think.



Oh come on you big baby. Here we go.


It tastes awful. A conundrum.  If I tell her truth, I  could end up in the dog house for several days. And, I’ll probably be reminded of this insult 5 years from now, at which time I will have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about. Defenseless.

If I choose the lesser of two evils and advise her its fine, I’ll be eating this stuff for the rest of my life.

Send flowers. And Blue Bell.

“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”

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1 Response to Foo Foo

  1. I tried to comment, but it wouldn’t take.  Here is my comment if you get it. hahahaha  I enjoyed that, although you know I take issue with some of what you think is feminine in foods.  NUTS….c’mon, man….the name itself tell you it is masculine.  Now, fruit….yeah, you got me there, unless it is a pair. (intentional misspelling to try and create a response; however, I know some readers won’t get it)  If I could take you back and advise you, I would have recommended you taste what she made and then say something like, “Well, that isn’t bad, and what an effort, Gaby, but it isn’t Blue Bell and in the Autumn of my years, I deserve what I want.”  Then, two or three days later when she is talking to you, again, she will appreciate it.  In the FYI department…..I learned the hard way low fat is NOT healthy.  You are much better off eating ice cream made with REAL CREAM, than that low fat nonsense.  I fell for it way back when, but I know realize that was a HUGE mistake.  Fat is good.  Sugar….well, it should be limited.  Tequila is good as long as it is 100% agave. 

    From: Texas Heat To: Sent: Friday, September 30, 2016 12:48 PM Subject: [New post] Foo Foo #yiv8153980333 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv8153980333 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv8153980333 a.yiv8153980333primaryactionlink:link, #yiv8153980333 a.yiv8153980333primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv8153980333 a.yiv8153980333primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv8153980333 a.yiv8153980333primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv8153980333 | Texas Heat posted: ““I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So Istole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”Foo Foo. It’s a generic term for all things feminine such as fruit, nuts, anything pink, organic, yogurt, health food, anything devoid of tast” | |


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