“I told him if he ever spoke to me like that again, I’d reach down his throat and pull out his testicles one at a time.” – From Double Whammy by Carl Hiaasen

4/1/15

8 am

Telephone rings…….

David (my son) calling……

What’s up David?

Just checking on you………..making sure you and Mom are ok.

Since when do you give a flying s___ about us? Just kidding. Everything is cool down here. Spring weather and we’re healthy and employed. Heaven.

How bout you? Everything ok in Dallas?

Just great.

Well why did you call?

Well……..I’ve got some news.

Really?

Ya………..Gosha (his ex wife the Polish bitch) and I are getting back together.

Is this your dumb idea of an April Fools joke?

Damn.

Just how much of an idiot do you think I am? If you want to prank me at least come up with something plausible.

Next year. I’ll get you next year.

Sure you will.

(Kids…………..they never learn)

“We’re intelligent people, but sex has nothing to do with intelligence. It’s impulse and instinct and animal attraction and it’s built into our cells.” – One Last Thing before I go by Jonathan Tropper