City Slicker

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? – Margaret Smith

Him: So why are you asking all these questions about me? Are you writing a book about me?

Me: No. No book. I just like to know things about people, especially my friends. I’m not nosey – just curious.

Him: Same thing.

Me: OK. Here’s the deal – you grew up in New York city. I grew up all over the world and mostly on military bases. So your youth must have been a lot different than mine.

I know what I did for fun. What I don’t have a clue about is what city kids of your generation did.

Him: What do you want to know?

Me: Well…….how big was your high school?

Him: 5,000

Me: See, that’s a medium size city in Montana. There were only 100 in my graduating class.

Him: I think there about 1800 in my class. Our school annual only had room for pictures of seniors.

Me: Wow. Seems like it would be hard to get all the seniors to sign your annual.

Him: Yes it was. I think I was the only one who got all the signatures. I should have been more careful. One girl signed that she would love me forever. My girlfriend saw that and got really mad. Bad news.

Me: That is so foreign to my experience. Tell me about your girlfriend.

Him: Define girl friend?

Me: Girlfriend. You know. Girlfriend. Your first love. That sort of thing.

Him: Well……girlfriend is different to a city boy. To you, it was probably someone you held hands with and kissed a lot. Right?

Me: Of course. How would define girlfriend?

Him: Someone you saw naked and had sex with.

Me: (laughing hysterically) Ok. That certainly describes a certain level of commitment. Where could you go in the city to do that? Central park or what?

Him: No. We usually looked for a parked car. Cadillacs and Lincolns were the best. More room. You had to be careful though. A guy named Luigie or Luciano might own the car and if he caught you it could get ugly.

Me: (More laughing hysterically)

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. – Isaac Asimov

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2 Responses to City Slicker

  1. Wow, a big difference….class of 1800 and class of 100. We had a little over 120 graduate in my little town in Colorado. At that time, in Colorado, we were not quite as advanced…..more Studebakers and Nash’s than Caddys and Lincolns. We had a signal system, so if we knew of a certain kind of girl, we would shake a snake at her, and if she didn’t run….it was off to the Studebaker. Nash’s were so cramped. Of course, there was a song, wasn’t there? “Lord, I was born a Rambler man?” something like that. I am glad he made you laugh, because every good laugh adds another day to your life. I might never die. 🙂


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