What have I ever done………

We’ll chance anything to destroy ourselves, but we’re such chickenshits when it comes to happiness.” – “Homeland” by Sam Lipsyte

Another day. Thank God. I’m still on this side of the dirt.

Feeling good. No serious health issues. Taking care of myself and mine. Life is good.

And then………

“Why me Lord what have I ever done

To deserve even one of the pleasures I’ve known…………………………….”

Kris Kristofferson singing his song.

The music – the lyrics. Stops me in my tracks.

Funny, strange and even wonderful how that works.

“Try me, Lord, if you think there’s a way

I can try to repay all I’ve taken from you………….”

Whenever I hear this song I stop whatever I’m doing and listen. And as I do, something in my soul moves.

Those lyrics. So simple. So compelling.

I’m not a religious person. Well, I am, but I don’t share that part of me with anyone. It’s private.

I never respond to the laments, supplications, warnings, teachings, etc. of modern religion. So it baffles me. Why does this simple piece of music touch me so deeply?

I think I know the answer. But it’s private.

“He feared that his final sacrifice would be his immortal soul.” – “Hell or Richmond” by Ralph Peters

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2 Responses to What have I ever done………

  1. First, I like the courage of many of your posts. You are unafraid of tweaking hypersensitivity to human emotion. Most people are cowards when it comes to expressing deep emotion.

    Second, I submit you are not religious, but individually spiritual. Religious, to me, is surface worship for others, not individual.

    Thirdly, loved the truth of the top quote.

    And lastly, thanks for sharing. I value your friendship.


    • Texas Heat says:

      Hmmm…..Don’t quite know how to respond to that. It is a fact that true friendship is a rare and valuable commodity. I’m lucky to have a few true friends. I like your definition of my spiritual nature. I’m comfortable with most of my emotions and therefore have no problem putting it out there. However, I have experienced excruciating pain with a few of my relationships and I can’t imagine ever putting those moments out there. I’m not a coward but I have experienced fear.


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