A day in the life of……..

“My theory’s always been, if you ain’t confused about something, then you’re living wrong.” – “The Accounting” by William Lashner

10am in the oil patch on a Conoco gate near Karnes City, TX.

I had relieved Gaby at 4am. Not much happens between 4am and 7am. After 7, however, traffic usually picks up.

Around 10am every morning Gaby begins to stir. 6 hours of sleep. I need at least 8. Don’t know how she gets by on so little. I think she has nightmares of me doing stuff and messing with things in her kitchen.

I sense the first edition of Gaby’s struggles to meet the day. Usually the sound of shuffling feet, drawers opening and an occasional “Damn I hate it when that happens” or “get out of my way” or “what the hell.” “Where are my glasses” and every fourth day or so “Bob, we’re out of toilet paper.”

Ahhhhhh…….the sounds of a couple in their early seventies with 46 years of marital bliss under their belts.

2 hours later after she’s had time to slam down 2 cups of coffee, 1 English Muffin topped with foo foo peanut butter (the kind one has to stir to mix the top layer of coagulated oil), slip into uniform and safety vest, she’s ready to face the day…………….sort of.

“Ready” is a relative term.

When I get up I accomplish all of that (minus the foo foo peanut butter) in 5 minutes. But I’m a guy. Just sayin.

So hon…..you going shopping today?

Is the Pope Catholic? Does a bear s___ in the woods? Did Nixon need a friend? Is Obama liberal?

When do you want to go?

Soon as I get ready?

So around 2 then?

When I’m ready. I don’t know when that will be. Quit bugging me!

Well…..that works. Probably in 30 minutes right?

Something like that.

90 minutes later

Are you OK in there?

I’ll be out in a minute.

30 minutes later

  1. Where’s the list? Milk, bread, etc. Anything else?

I can’t think of anything. You?

No. Well, what do you want to eat tonight.

Lasagna and bread pudding for dessert.

Funny man.

Biscuits and gravy?

Works for me.

20 minutes later

  1. I’m going. If you think of anything call me.

Wait a minute. Think I’d better go to the bathroom first.

5 minutes later

  1. See ya.

2 minutes later

I forgot my phone. OK. See ya. Call me if you think of you think of anything else.

Total time from decision to go to driving out the gate…….2 hours 27 minutes.

“To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.”

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