“Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” ~ Jack Benny

We had another interesting day on the gate yesterday. The highlight was our conversation re directions to the Pizza Hut in Cuero.

Him:  I’ve ordered the pizza and it will be ready in 20 minutes. Do you want me to pick it up or do you want to get it?

Her:  I’ll get it. Just need a second to get ready.

Him:  You’re not going to the prom. You’re just getting a pizza. What getting ready do you have to do?

Her:  (in the bathroom brushing her hair) Just need to touch up.

Him:  For God’s sake, the pizza will be ready in 20 minutes and it takes that long to drive there. You don’t have time for a 10 minute touch up. Just go.

Her:  I wish you wouldn’t talk to me like that.

Him:  Lookit——I’m sorry but I’m hungry and your idea of a second is, in real time, 15 minutes minimum. Pretty please.

Her:  Give me a break. Sometimes I just don’t know who you are. . Ok, how do I get there?

Him:  You don’t know? You drive right past it every time you go to the HEB.

Her:  Are you serious? I’ve never seen it.

Him:  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.

Her:  Get a grip man.

Him:  I’ll draw you a map. When you get to Cuero – drive past the McDonalds and towards the HEB. The Pizza Hut is on the left just before the HEB.

Her:  But I always turn right at the McDonalds.

Him:  You turn right to go to the Walmart. You go straight to the HEB.

Her:  I’m not going to the Walmart?

Him:  No. You’re going to the HEB

Her:  I thought I was going to the Pizza Hut.

Him:  You are going to the Pizza Hut. Just drive like you do when you go to HEB. You’ll see it on the left side.

Her:  The same side as the HEB?

Him:  No. HEB is on the right. Look at me – this is your right and this is your left. Pizza Hut is on the left.

Her:  Well – why didn’t you tell me that in the first place? And stop crying you big baby.

“Perception is unreliable. Language is the glue of civilization.” From Resurection Express by Stephen Romano