My mother once told me: “Your children are your children for the rest of your life.” Man that sounded so ominous at the time. Kind of like life without parole.
What prompted that jewel of wisdom was my lamenting the grinding chore of just getting teenagers through High School. After 18 years of giving my life to a higher calling, I just wanted to see the end of the road and look forward to “our time.”
“Our time.” Just the two of us. Man and wife. Woman and man. Boy and Girl. Doing our thing with no other care in the world.
It’s out there, but boy is it fragile. All is cool as long as “the children’s” lives are problem free. A major crisis in their lives becomes your burden. Dreams and plans are put on hold. Peace is shattered. Momma’s words slip through conscious thought.
The grind begins anew.
It sucks.
“Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.” – Colin Sautar
Like the ole saying “always a Mother”. goes for Daddies too. 28 yrs ago we had similiar problems. but now our daughter is so independent – blessed us ith the two most wonderful granddaughters. I have to admit I cried more over the problems than she did. When “our” kids are in pain/trouble so are we. Things will get better. Just know this hurtful time will pass.
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It is so true……..parents suffer horribly when the children hurt.
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Yep – they have a pull on your heart like no other. I’m so sorry things are so rough for you both, and for your daughter, right now.
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Thanks for the kind thought Debbie. I shouldn’t have posted that but I was really down at the time and sort of venting. Things have improved a lot since and we are just keeping our fingers crossed. Hope and trust all is well with you and Heidi.
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Little kids little problems,big kids big problems!
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That sums it up nicely Harry.
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Truer words were never spoken. Everything okay up there in Sherman?
Vicky
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We are dealing with a few things but otherwise all is well. I probably shouldn’t have written this post. It’s our business….our problem. Sometimes you just have to vent it out, otherwise you might explode. What makes this issue so tough is it is not our child’s fault. She’s dealing the best she can with tough problems. This is so hard because there is vitually nothing we can do to help. And yet, because it is our child, we suffer.
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I think the hardest thing as a parent is saying no to our kids. But, you reach a stage in life where you have to take care of yourself first because no one else will. We started saying no when we found out that the “kids/adults” weren’t doing their part to change their situation. I believe they now understand we are not their bank. Growing up is hard to do…both for the parents and the kids.
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By God, I believe you’ve nailed it. Thank you kindly for your comment.
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I feel your pain Bob! After years of preparing Casey to get the heck out of the house and then getting her out of the house she’s back (due to a not so good relationship in AZ, my mother said I had to save her)! Oh I had a few fun filled years of being wild and crazy on my own but that all changed 10 days ago. This too shall pass…or so my therapist says!
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According to my mother, it does not pass. It is always out there, lurking.
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Do we ever hear you on this one. It gets old. Very very old.
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I wrote this just to vent. Dealing with those issues just wears me down. I know others must suffer as well. I wish for your relief but know it is very elusive.
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